What makes a great rec basketball team name? There are plenty of factors, ranging from word play, self-deprecation, pop culture references and much more.

We’ve picked our 16 favorite team names from across UH Nation this season to battle in a bracket to find out which team boasted the best name this winter. The winner will be decided by you, as we’ll have polls on our UH365 Facebook group over the next few days to crown a champion.

Here’s a look at the first round matchups.

Doncic Kong (Laguna, CA) vs. Bricklayers (Burlington, MA)

Our first matchup is a classic West Coast vs. East Coast battle.

Doncic Kong does a lot with its name in a simple package. You have a reference to a classic video game while also incorporating a current NBA superstar. Considering my affinity for Donkey Kong (a go-to character in Mario Kart: Double Dash for me) and Luka Doncic (one of my top five favorite players in the NBA), this was an easy choice to include in the bracket. Donic Kong could’ve used Luka’s services this season, as they were 2-6 in the regular season and ended on a five-game losing streak.

Bricklayers make the field of 16 due to the ironic nature of their team name. It’s a fun way to suggest they’re a bunch of below-average rec players that can’t hit shots, but the Bricklayers led Burlington in field goal percentage this season, shooting 52% from the field. That shooting got them a trip to the Burlington championship game.

Lebrontourage (Frontenac, MO) vs. Ready, Fire, Aim (Edina, MN)

We move onto a matchup of differing climates in the center of the country.

As you’ll see from looking over the bracket, word play with NBA players from the past and present will be featured heavily. Here we get a combo of the second-best player in the history of the NBA and a classic HBO show which, admittedly, I’ve never seen (fun UH fact: Hall of Famer Reid Nelson stands by the “Entourage is vastly overrated” take and would recommend HBO’s How to Make it in America instead). Lebrontourage showcased LeBron-esque dominance in Frontenac this season, as they went undefeated through seven weeks of the season.

Ready, Fire, Aim is such a good team name because it describes their style of play perfectly. They average 68 field goal attempts per game, and 34.6 of them are 3s. To their credit, they lead the Edina Vet League in both field goal percentage (48%) and three-point percentage (38%) this season, so firing before aiming has been an effective strategy.

Not Fast, Just Furious (Fort Worth, TX) vs. The Accountants (Scottsdale, AZ)

Both of these teams amuse me for their honesty.

Not Fast, Just Furious does a great job of combining a movie reference with some self-deprecation. They are being truthful about not being fast, as they take 61 shots per game, which is the fifth-most out of seven teams in the Fort Worth Draft League. That’s not the pace we see out of Dom Toretto in the Fast franchise, but it sounds like the ferocity is still there.

I have no idea how many, if any, of the players on The Accountants is actually an accountant. If they all were, it’s a perfect team name. Is there a single profession that sounds like they lack basketball skills more than accountants? Probably not. But that’s how they lure you in. The Accountants finished with a 7-4 record in Scottsdale this season, making it to the quarterfinals of the Arizona Draft Tournament. If they are accountants, they must be like Ben Affleck in The Accountant. Seemingly normal accountants, but secretly assassins.

Pippen Ain’t Easy (South Jordan, UT) vs. Respect Your Elders (Alpharetta, GA)

A universal truth going up against a strong word of advice.

Frankie Ghouchani of Respect Your Elders

As someone who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, Pippen Ain’t Easy has a special place in my heart. Skip Bayless has had A LOT of bad takes in his time, but his worst take ever was when he said Scottie Pippen isn’t one of the 50 best players of all-time. He even went as far to say he wasn’t deserving of being in the Hall of Fame. Scottie Pippen is the greatest perimeter defender of all-time, one of the best two-way players the game has ever seen and his dunk on Patrick Ewing is enough to get him in the Hall of Fame alone. Skip Bayless is a clown (I also find it amusingly ironic that a team from Utah has their team named after Pippen even though he exposed Karl Malone for not delivering on Sundays). While pimpin’ ain’t easy, neither was this season for Pippen Ain’t Easy, as they finished 1-7.

Respect Your Elders is just a great piece of life advice. It’s something we should follow all the time, but it rings especially true given the current situation our world is facing. It’s advice the rest of Alpharetta should follow as well, as Respect Your Elders were 5-4 this season and about to play in the semifinals for a possible trip to the championship game.

Goin Sizzla (Summerlin, NV) vs. Board Man Gets Paid (Bloomington South, MN)

This is a monster showdown between two basketball icons: Sidney Deane and Kawhi Leonard.

If you read Roger Johnson’s article on Tuesday where he gives basketball movie and book recommendations, you may notice that he did not mention White Men Can’t Jump, which is my second-favorite basketball movie of all-time (Semi-Pro is my favorite, don’t @ me). In one of the most famous scenes from the movie, Sidney Deane buries a jumper in a shooting contest against Billy Hoyle, and one of Sidney’s buddies celebrates a little too early, proclaiming, “We goin Sizzla,” to celebrate the money they won. Billy actually wins the money, and Sidney and his crew can’t have a celebratory steak and shrimp dinner. Sidney’s fate also replicated Goin Sizzla’s season, as they weren’t able to celebrate a championship at Sizzler, as they were knocked out in the first round of the Las Vegas Rec playoffs.

The only thing more surprising than the Raptors overcoming their past playoff failures to go on to win the NBA Finals last year was the revelation that Kawhi Leonard has a personality and is actually a “fun guy”. That got elevated when the Board Man Gets Paid story came out last year during the Finals, which of course, Kawhi explained in the most boring way possible. Board Man Gets Paid lived up to their name this season, as their 35.4 rebounds per game was the third-most in Bloomington South.

Purple Rain (Folsom, CA) vs. Flint Michigan Tropics (Westminster, CO)

Two absolute homer picks going against each other.

Gary Gorski (left) and Sanjay Bagai (center) of Purple Rain

I’ve lived in Minnesota for almost seven years. I’m a lifelong Vikings fan. My dad has been playing Prince songs for me since I was a kid. This scene, movie, song and album are all amazing. Purple is my favorite color. I think you get it. The team name was strong enough to have Purple Rain go 8-1 this season and secure a trip to the Folsom championship game.

This one is pretty straight forward as well, considering I already stated that Semi-Pro is my favorite basketball movie earlier in this article. I do want to point out that I picked this specific team out of Westminster because they went with the full Flint Michigan Tropics instead of just the Tropics, which other teams have done plenty of times. Both are acceptable, but having the full title really adds to it. Unfortunately for these Tropics, they went 1-8 this season, replicating the Tropics from the first half of Semi-Pro, not the second half.

Bout That Action (Shelby, MI) vs. Charlotte Bobcats (Gaithersburg, MD)

Two sports references that are doing two different things face off.

Marshawn Lynch notoriously never enjoyed interacting with the media. This interview he did with Deion Sanders was possibly the most revealing he’s ever been, and it birthed a truly iconic line that perfectly encapsulated Lynch’s career. Bout That Action was really only bout that action in Weeks 5-7, when they went on a three-game win streak. Other than that, they went 0-5 this season.

Typically a team that’s based off a college or pro team would come nowhere near this bracket considering there’s nothing creative about them and they don’t stand out in any way. But the Charlotte Bobcats? Why were they chosen? Why not the Charlotte Hornets? Is there anyone reliving the glory days of the Bobcats? The Bobcats existed for 10 NBA seasons. They only had two winning seasons, and they got swept out of the first round in both of those seasons. They even have the worst winning percentage in a season in NBA history, which they achieved when they went 7-59 in the shortened 2011-12 season. These Bobcats were much better, as they finished the regular season with a 7-1 record. They made it to the championship game before losing 49-41 to the Washington Wizards.

Kawhi Me A River (Tempe, AZ) vs. Ultimate Oops (Dallas, TX)

Two great examples of word play conclude the first round.

Kawhi is back, but this time not for his own saying. As you can see from a lot of these team names, I love word play. Here you get a great combo of Kawhi Leonard and Justin Timberlake’s best song. There’s also a stong double-meaning here. I don’t think Kawhi is capable of producing tears, but he’s definitely made people cry. Kawhi Me A River did more damage than they took this season, making it to the quarterfinals of the Arizona Draft Tournament, but they were knocked out by GOATS Gilbert in the same round Embiid and the Sixers were knocked out of that year (I cannot confirm that any of their players cried after the loss).

I have to admit, I am a bit of a company man. Using word play on the name of the company that employs me? Of course you’re getting into the dance! Not only does Ultimate Oops boast a simple but clever name, they also back their name up with plays like this. Their play on the floor has been dominant in recent seasons as they’ve gone 26-0 since the start of the Summer 2019 season.

Who had the best team name in UH this season?